I started smoking the sweet Mary Jane at 11 years old. I had to go to the public library in Damascus, MD, to work on a short essay, and my older brother and his friend BJ said they could drop me off.
They were driving and smoking out of a large glass tube with a bubble at the bottom. I was curious. They handed me the bong.
I walked into the library and forgot my purpose for being there.
I laid on the carpet in the kid’s section of the library, staring at the enormous paper mache dinosaurs which dominated the room.
I imagined being a dinosaur.
I felt buzzing throughout my entire body. I felt like nothing mattered except a distant land that existed inside my mind of the triceratops and pterodactyls.
Sīla, Samādhi, Pannā
Fast Forward to me now, 26 years old and sober.
.No more dirty martinis for you.
What is it like living on Dhamma Land and throwing yourself into a forced state of constant sobriety? And how has it altered my mind?
Well, I am absolutely
I can observe every thought, I can see them clearly as alternate entities that do not define me in any way.
I am separate from my external thoughts, and now I know how to harness my
When I hate myself, I am kinder because there is nothing to drown myself out with. When I am sad, upset, and even want to dance and sing, I have to enter that state of freedom that exists only once I have climbed the mountains of my daily inner repetitor.
This base of Sīla leads to Samādhi, a deep state of concentration that allows me to experience Pannā, the wisdom of my body that exists with no solidity.
I feel every molecule moving, a state of vibration similar to that of my first time getting high, except my awareness is peaked, and my body becomes a storm of exploration.
Thus my thoughts can not be concrete.
They are simply waves in the
which can be used to alter my world.
These three work together to give me a more in-depth understanding that
I come from a creator, thus I harness a power to create from nothing,
to use energy and paint planet Earth.